Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
