Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You did what with his pubic hair?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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