I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
