We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
