I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
