The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
