Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I smell stomach acid.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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