I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
