I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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