You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
