Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize