dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
