.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
