that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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