Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
