your thong is hanging out like whoa
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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