my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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