If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
