i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
