he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
