I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
