I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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