Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
