My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
