when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
