Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
