Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
