he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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