She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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