So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
