Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
