Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
