I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
