that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
