Porn is love you can see.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she smelled like a LAN party
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
