Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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