just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
