just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize