trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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