hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
