i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
