Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize