Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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