so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
