trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
