I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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