NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think my fart just growled at me.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
