You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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