It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
