All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
