hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
