Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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