no, he came in my armpit
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
