Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
