Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I will be naked everywhere
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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