omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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