I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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