And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
