She announced her abortion via fbk
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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