you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
