she was so not down for the gang bang
Too much gin, very little bucket
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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