My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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