The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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